God's Got This.

I finally headed back to San Lorenzo!!  

Trust me when I say, it was nothing like I expected. The team that I first came to Honduras with sent a suit case of toys with me to hand out to the children.  I was so excited to be the bearer of gifts to these kids.  It was going to be like Christmas in June and I got to be a santa like figure. Since I have gained such a love for these kids, I wanted everything to be perfect for them. I planned and organized and I made sure everything was going to be spectacular... Then God stepped in for one more of his little reminders; I don't make the plans. I thought that maybe he would at least consult me on this little venture of mine, but that was so not the case.

We we arrived, I realized while we were unpacking our van that the toys I had so perfectly packed where nowhere to be found.  In the crazy haze of a 40 person group split, they somehow made it to the city of La Victoria, 40 minutes south of our destination. 

I heart was broken.

I took my tamali and my glass of water and had a 10 minute pitty party over a rock in the corner of the church yard.  Some one forgot to mention that my tamali had a bad piece of chicken in it and the next 30 minutes of my life would be spent on the "throne" of San Lorenzo. To keep this PG, let's just say the "hover technique" can only be used for so long. The team went ahead and started visiting the houses of the people I love without me and I stayed back, sick. I was in a rut to say the least. The perfect day that I had planned was turing out to be an epic fail.  

Then Carlo showed up with his sweet little face and my day began to brighten.  I had kept a Magnadoodle for him in my personal bag, because I knew as soon as the bus pulled into the courtyard he would appear. He was my first ray of sunshine to what ended up being the day God planned for me.  

I had separated a small bag of toys to give to the school for their supplies that morning. It made it San Lorenzo. In this bag held 13 gifts.  We ended up having 13 children show up to the afternoon service so each child got a gift.  They rest of the toys will be delivered to the kids in September for Children's Day.  The town has never been able to afford real gifts to celebrate this holiday so the treat/surprise factor will be amazing for the parents of the children; 100 times more so than it would have been for me. I still got to pass out presents and I still got to have the joy of giving that God intends us to have.  The difference was, I was able to take myself out of the equation.  I gave gifts whole heartedly and got to love on the kids the way God intended me to.  

Sometimes, even with the best intentions, we still like to put ourself into the mix.  Being a Christian is a selfless act.  There can not be one moment that revolves around you.  When that happens, God's not glorified. We are, and that's just crazy thinking!! The day ended up being a perfect day and I had an amazing time in like I always do here. :)

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. -Philippians 2:13 

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. -2 peter 1:5-7

Asking alot

From the day I left Honduras, I have been completely looking forward to my return. I knew that I was coming back, I just needed to know when. I have a place in my heart for the people here and it's only filled when can see their eyeballs! Even my body is on Honduran time! My experiences down here have not all been warm and fuzzy. I have seen the life style of missionaries and it is not easy. The work doesn't involve a lot of book smarts, but it requires constant agility and movement. I'm exaughisted, but being in a place where I feel like I am helping seems to give me a strength that I don't have back in the states. They say that will power boosts up your adrenaline and that is the truth. I am able to go starting at 7 in the morning until 11 or 12 at night 7 days a week! There is so much to do here and not enough people to do it. The newness of the field has worn off and now it's real living. I have seen things that I question, made memories that I can keep, learned ways to work with people, learned how to communicate when words fail, and found new and interesting qualities about myself that otherwise would have remained hidden.

Sacrifice

I gave up everything I knew in Kentucky to come to Tegucigalpa.  When I head back to the states I will not have an income, a car, and two weeks after, a place to call home.  Seems kind of crazy, right... YES!  What was I thinking?!  Yesterday, I completely freaked out.  I was so down on myself for being an immature idiot. Just try to imagine leaving your life, your significant other, your friends, your family, your security and then go ahead and send me to the loony bin, because I have obviously lost my marbles.

But, and there is always a but, today I woke up and read a letter from my mother of all people. (Parents always have wisdom even when they aren't around.) She said, "be discerning" and a bunch of other stuff about letting the Lord guide my decisions and not letting the devil use his little tactics to be a wolf in lambs clothing.  (I'm obviously paraphrasing because the letter was two pages long.) Then for devotionals this morning, we read about putting on the armor of God and preparing ourselves for the battles in life that we are going to face. The devil shows his face much more apparently when you're where you're supposed to be in God's plan for your life. He can be very manipulative in his actions; making things fall into place or having small coincidences. All these things are weapons that I need to prepare myself for by reading the Bible praying and listening to make sure I am where I'm supposed to be! I know from experience that being where God isn't leading you has some serious consequences. The combination of the letter and the devotional brought such a peace within me. I may be homeless, broke and hungry when I return, but Job seemed to be in the same predicament once and he turned out alright.

I feel more strongly than ever now that I am supposed to be in Honduras.  The paths that I have taken in life have totally lead me in the wrong direction until now, but let face it. I'm not perfect... Close, but not... :) Hopefully, in my next blog I'll talk about being humble...

A few verses for thought...

All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well being.- 1 Corinthians 10:23, 24

This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. -1 Corinthians 2:13,14

Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. -Proverbs 4:1

You want me to do what?

I gave my first piano lesson today, I'm learning Spanish because I'm going to have to give a seminar for the women of Nicaragua on missions, I'm building an entire website, and I have had to learn how to function and be sick at the same time. God is asking a lot of me already and it's only the end of the first week.

Yet, I'm not surprised!

Everyone kept asking me how God prepared me for this trip down to Honduras and I always had a hard time responding. But being down here has helped me know the answer. (God works in hind sight a lot in my life.) He gave me patients. Life here is slower than in America. We move and always hurry and here there is not really an instance when someone is late. When I'm ready for something to happen, I wait. When I need something done, I wait for it. Those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength and also their patients. In the times that I wait, it becomes easy to rejoice in the Lord and again rejoice. It becomes easy to slow down and see just how big and awesome God really is.

But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. -Isaiah 40:31

Dia uno

I have arrived.... In Honduras that is. All the anxiety I had before the trip, the stress of flying alone, feeling selfish because I am leaving so many special people behind, and the uncertainty of not knowing where my life is headed has past. As soon as my foot touched Honduran soil I felt home. There is something magical about this place. It's surreal. You don't think a place like this can exist until you step foot on the rain soaked soil. It bends as you walk with it now.
I thought that God wasn't going to teach me anything today, but as I took a break in writing this I realized I don't have my walet anymore. All the cash for y stay and luggage is in that walet! I have no idea where it is. Lesson one. The devil is real and he has been trying to get my spirirts down in any way shape or form. Lesson two. God is in control and he is taking care of me on this trip. Money or no money,
I'm in his hands.
So at the end of day one I'm tired and broke in the emotional sense and the monetary one. Here I am lord. You said where you lead I will follow so now I'm following. Take are of me...
If worst comes to worst, Fernando remembers me and still loves me :)